Star Trek Makes No Sense, Part III
Out Of My Way, I'm In Charge Here
The "Environmental Control Panel" is three buttons in the middle of the wall next to the main screen on the bridge. (What a place to put it.) During an emergency, some guy is standing there pushing the buttons in and out. This guy's whole life is these three buttons, but Kirk runs over, shoves him aside and starts pushing the buttons himself.
Communication Is Important
When Uhura has to reach Kirk, she says, "Enterprise to Captain Kirk, Enterprise to Captain Kirk, come in please." But Kirk doesn't hear that. He hears beep-beep beep-beep. The same sort of thing happens when he calls back.
It's a shame, too, because Uhura has exactly three phrases in her vocabulary --- Enterprise to Captain Kirk, hailing frequencies open Captain and Captain, I'm frightened --- and one of them is constantly being editing out by her own equipment. That's gotta be humiliating for her.
In the "Nomad" episode, we are treated to the sight of Uhura learning the phrase The ball is blooo-ie but I don't recall her ever needing to use it thereafter.
Kirk has an intercom on his chair. All it has is one little white button and one speaker / microphone, but it always knows who he wants to talk to. Maybe it listens to his conversation. We aren't sure who he gets if he hasn't said anything for a while.
While looking for Nancy The Salt Vampire, Kirk calls the Enterprise. Spock, also on the planet's surface, interrupts his conversation. "Spock breaking in, Captain," he says. Communicators don't relay other conversations. How did he know what Kirk was saying? And how did he direct his communicator to break into that conversation? Was a pretty neat trick, because that's the only time anybody ever does it.
Spock has flipped out because of the spores and "doesn't feel like responding." Kirk is trying to reach him. "The channel's open, but he isn't responding," he observes to McCoy. He hits the communicator several times. So does he think there are moving parts in there that have jammed, and it'll start working if he jars them loose? [The Naked Time]
Almost every alien in the universe speaks English. Generally with an accent. If they don't, then there's a device called a Universal Translator, which looks like a magic marker. It translates unknown languages into English, and it gets the first word right. ... What if the first thing you do is sneeze?
When sneaking up on the Klingon "gulag" where Kirk and McCoy are imprisoned, the bridge crew need to play head games with the bored Klingons at the listening post, pretending they're a Klingon freighter carrying supplies. (It's well known that Klingon freighters have precisely the same radar signatures, or whatever, as Federation starships.) The universal translator, however, "would be recognized," so the best option is to have Uhura shout phrases like We am thy freighter. Uh, how about having the translator write correct phrases on a screen and have Uhura just read them out loud? ... No, that couldn't possibly work. [The Undiscovered Country]
They're trying to figure out what the huge tube-shaped machine is doing to planets [The Doomsday Machine]. They have terminals all over the place, hooked up to something called a 'duotronic computer,' but when they have to look up information on metallurgy, Kirk hands Spock a huge hardcover textbook.
They also use little rectangular diskette-type items. These diskettes have absolutely no writing on them, but McCoy sometimes picks them up and reads titles off them anyway. There are probably millions of them aboard, but at one point Spock identifies one as "tape H". (Tape, no less.)
The "Environmental Control Panel" is three buttons in the middle of the wall next to the main screen on the bridge. (What a place to put it.) During an emergency, some guy is standing there pushing the buttons in and out. This guy's whole life is these three buttons, but Kirk runs over, shoves him aside and starts pushing the buttons himself.
Communication Is Important
When Uhura has to reach Kirk, she says, "Enterprise to Captain Kirk, Enterprise to Captain Kirk, come in please." But Kirk doesn't hear that. He hears beep-beep beep-beep. The same sort of thing happens when he calls back.
It's a shame, too, because Uhura has exactly three phrases in her vocabulary --- Enterprise to Captain Kirk, hailing frequencies open Captain and Captain, I'm frightened --- and one of them is constantly being editing out by her own equipment. That's gotta be humiliating for her.
In the "Nomad" episode, we are treated to the sight of Uhura learning the phrase The ball is blooo-ie but I don't recall her ever needing to use it thereafter.
Kirk has an intercom on his chair. All it has is one little white button and one speaker / microphone, but it always knows who he wants to talk to. Maybe it listens to his conversation. We aren't sure who he gets if he hasn't said anything for a while.
While looking for Nancy The Salt Vampire, Kirk calls the Enterprise. Spock, also on the planet's surface, interrupts his conversation. "Spock breaking in, Captain," he says. Communicators don't relay other conversations. How did he know what Kirk was saying? And how did he direct his communicator to break into that conversation? Was a pretty neat trick, because that's the only time anybody ever does it.
Spock has flipped out because of the spores and "doesn't feel like responding." Kirk is trying to reach him. "The channel's open, but he isn't responding," he observes to McCoy. He hits the communicator several times. So does he think there are moving parts in there that have jammed, and it'll start working if he jars them loose? [The Naked Time]
Almost every alien in the universe speaks English. Generally with an accent. If they don't, then there's a device called a Universal Translator, which looks like a magic marker. It translates unknown languages into English, and it gets the first word right. ... What if the first thing you do is sneeze?
When sneaking up on the Klingon "gulag" where Kirk and McCoy are imprisoned, the bridge crew need to play head games with the bored Klingons at the listening post, pretending they're a Klingon freighter carrying supplies. (It's well known that Klingon freighters have precisely the same radar signatures, or whatever, as Federation starships.) The universal translator, however, "would be recognized," so the best option is to have Uhura shout phrases like We am thy freighter. Uh, how about having the translator write correct phrases on a screen and have Uhura just read them out loud? ... No, that couldn't possibly work. [The Undiscovered Country]
They're trying to figure out what the huge tube-shaped machine is doing to planets [The Doomsday Machine]. They have terminals all over the place, hooked up to something called a 'duotronic computer,' but when they have to look up information on metallurgy, Kirk hands Spock a huge hardcover textbook.
They also use little rectangular diskette-type items. These diskettes have absolutely no writing on them, but McCoy sometimes picks them up and reads titles off them anyway. There are probably millions of them aboard, but at one point Spock identifies one as "tape H". (Tape, no less.)
posted by DunedainRanger at 2:05 a.m.
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