Star Trek Makes No Sense, Part IV

How To Tell That You're a Star Trek Alien

[1] You are completely human in appearance, except that there's something weird about your nose.
[2] You speak perfect 20th-century English. Mild accent is optional.
[3] You know how to work the Transporter.
[4] You can interbreed with humans. Worf's wife and Spock are two examples of the result. Then there's Kirk and the insane green woman, Marta [episode?], but I don't want to get into that whole thing right now. Anyway, it's because a super-race seeded the galaxy with DNA a long time ago. But evolution still happened, though, because Klingons for example used to be exoskeletal and Picard was a marmoset, but everybody converged again to the point of being able to have kids, i.e., the DNA structure is identical, ... no, don't try to understand it.

Nominations for Most Embarassing Moment

This could take a while. It's a target-rich environment.

[1] Spock Is Really a Playstation2
Here we have yet another alien race that (a) was completely human in appearance, and (b) spoke unaccented English --- well, except that "male" and "female" had been replaced with "morg" and "eyemorg." Or vice versa; I don't remember which was which, and I'm not real interesting in finding out, either.
Spock has had his brain surgically removed, without messing up his hair, but the perpetrators have helpfully set him up with a little hand-held remote that allows for robotic walking. (And takes two 9-volt batteries.) McCoy puts the brain back in without bothering to wash his hands, or provide for a septic environment, or any of that sort of trivia.

[2] The Space Hippies Episode
There isn't a Most Embarassing Moment in this one. The entire episode is an Embarassing Moment. But the crowning moment was the little jam session, with Spock On Vulcan Harp and Hippie Chick On Bicycle Wheel. Playing a moronic tape loop of annoying 1960's chords. Nope, I don't reach, Harold.

[3] Swahili Is Implemented On The Hardware
Nomad wipes out Uhura's memory, so that she needs to be retaught everything she knows --- communications technology, the English language, how to blow her nose, et cetera. But she still speaks Swahili: that part didn't get wiped. Must be physically imprinted on her brain cells. One good punch in the head and she forgets past-tense conjugations.

[4+] Runners-Up and Honorable Mentions

"I never forget a face, Mister ... Chekov," says Khan.
Chekov wasn't in the episode he's referring to.

Sulu and the boys are going to freeze to death down on the planet, because the transporter is generating good-guy / bad-guy copies of everybody. ... So what was wrong with the shuttlecraft? Did it have a flat?

During the course of this episode, Bad Kirk tries to molest his yeoman, Janice Rand. She scratches his face. Later in the show, the scratches are on the other side. Then back again.
You remember Yeoman Rand. She was the one with the beehive hairdo. Yes, this was the show that lectured us about female equality, and then showed us female crew members in miniskirts and go-go boots.

Fight scenes in general are, well, different. Finnegan punches Kirk on the left side of the face. Kirk falls in the same direction --- to his own left. [Shore Leave].
Sulu hits a Klingon on the forearm with a robotic-looking little chop. The Klingon falls to the floor unconscious. [The Enemy Within].